


plastic smiles and peonies

by greenivy



Series: Dreaming in Grey [1]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: M/M, Spoilers, haha - Freeform, im abusing the tags, kise's dad doesn't have any either, kise's my fave i swear, lowkey kikasa, wow i have zero chill
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-03-23 00:52:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13776210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenivy/pseuds/greenivy
Summary: Kise Ryouta is a doll. His birth was an accident, and that makes him an accident. A calamity. A fake. He's only there for other's enjoyment, that's what he's told. His father hammered him into plastic, hit him until he was perfect. His mother screamed herself hoarse, carving his manners and words.Kise Ryouta is a mistake. That's what the world said. They boxed him up neatly and slapped a label on the front, readying him for the store.Kise Ryouta is broken. He's a matryoshka, layers of cracked porcelain. Kaijou is trying to open his packaging, save him and show him what it's like to be free.He only wishes he knew how to trust them.





	plastic smiles and peonies

**Author's Note:**

> I swear Kise is my fave.... this is what I do to my faves.......

 It starts after he gets his first  **B** in math. He's handed his paper over to his father, head bowed in shame. Then the words come.

"A **B**? You're that dumb? These questions are easy!" The words hit him like he's just been punched in the gut. He raises his head to look at his father.

"I'm sor-" He registers a stinging feeling on his cheek too late. He brings a hand up to it in shock. He looks at his father in bewilderment.

"Don't fucking speak! There's not going to be any dinner for you tonight! Go to your room." He doesn't sleep that night.

That's only the beginning.

He starts basketball at Teiko in his second year. People are so much better than him, and if he comes home late because he stayed behind to practice everything is worse than a slap and some harsh words. He does it anyway, a sliver of hope in his head that maybe if he gets good at basketball, his father will be proud of him.

His mother looks at him with hate filled eyes when he sits down at the table each night and mumbles something about how he's just a burden. How he's just another mouth to feed. That she should've left him on the streets as a baby. It hurts worse than the daily beatings he gets now.

His father is careful though. Always leaves them in places people won't see. Tells him that if he dares to cry for help that he'll kill Kise. Hurt him. Disown him, leave him to fend for himself. So Kise shuts up and develops a mask.

At basketball, he gets yelled at for being slow. For being the only one who doesn't have over thirty points. That someone's going to take his place.

He knows that they don't mean to hurt him. Don't know what he goes through. But it's another wound, another chop taken at his self-esteem.

Somewhere deep down, he knows that this is wrong. That other kids don't get hit by their father and told they're worthless by their mother. But he's young and afraid, alone in a terrifying situation. So he remains silent.

He makes the starting lineup soon enough. He loves basketball. He thinks it's worth words filled with hatred and blows that leave bruises and scars for weeks.

His mask is melding to his face, and it's so, so easy to fool his teammates. They're too focused on how he's playing to think much of his feelings.

_Maybe,_  he thinks, _it would be easier if I just got rid of my emotions._  And he does, in a way. He copies himself and then twists it into something else entirely.

\------------------------------------

Kuroko might've noticed. He needs to be more careful. His father forgot, got caught up in the heat of the moment and punched his eye. He lies and says someone accidentally swung their elbow down and hit him.

He let his guard down, just for half a second, let his pain and emotions flit across his face. He silently curses himself. **Careless, careless. Kuroko is too observant.**

**Let me take over. I can handle it.**  He calls the other him River. It was the name he came up when he was little when River was nice and said he was proud of Ryouta. He gives River control because it's easier than fighting to keep his head above the waves.

He feels his limbs go numb. He sighs and sits while River takes the reigns. River dodges around Kuroko, drives past another first-string member, tossing the ball in the hoop with a layup. His teammates ignore it, just like every day. He sees Kuroko give him a worried glance. But River is perfect, leaves no gaps or openings.

Practice goes on, but when it ends River heads for the gate.  _Wait!_ He protests. River doesn't even falter.  _What about extra practice?_ River scoffs.

**What about it? I thought you didn't like getting hit.**    _I don't but- but-_   **But what?**  River's voice is cold.  **It's a place where no one gives you a second glance really worth bruises and broken bones?**  Kise can't argue with that, but a voice deep down still protests.

_Basketball is all you have left Ryouta. Don't let go of it too._  It whispers.

He crushes it and lets the dust fall from his hands.

River's control time starts to grow. It starts out just minutes longer at first. He reasons with himself that River is better at basketball and social environments.

Then by hours. He stops getting hit as much, and his mother's comments dwindle slightly. He lets River take over for days on end. River is a lot better than him. A better person. Kise starts to lose himself.

\----------------------------------------

When he graduates, he enrolls in Kaijou High School. Everything is fine for the first three months.

He goes to basketball tryouts. Everythings seems like it'll be fine. But he forgets this isn't Teiko, forgets it isn't the room where everyone simply ignores his antics. He gets called out on it by the captain, Kasamatsu Yukio. Then River challenges Kasamatsu, and all River's hard work is coming undone.

_River? What are you doing?_ River doesn't respond. Suddenly, he's shut out.

_River?!_ The only response is the echo of the iron wall that River blocked him out with. He draws his knees up to his chin and curls into a ball. Even River is going to leave him behind, cast him aside.

 

 

He startles awake later. He bends his arm, and the realization hits him. He's in control. _He's in control._

_River?_  There's no response. Anxiety rolls over him like a sudden storm washes over an unsuspecting countryside.

He can't- he can't handle it! He hasn't done it in three months. He panics.

_What should I wear? What should I eat? How should I talk to people?_  It's so trivial, yet he can't do it.

\--------------------------------------------

He makes it through the day until basketball practice, somehow. There were some slip-ups, but he managed to save it with a few,  
"Oh, I just stayed up a little too late for extra studying!" The teachers smile and tell him to get more rest. The girls swoon and whisper about how he takes academics so seriously.

Practice at Kaijou is hard. Hard because River wasn't there last night and he messed up in front of his dad. Hard because his mother spat profanities at him as his father took off his belt and brought it down on Ryouta's spine.

Hard because these people notice everything, _goddammit!_ They seem to actually care about him, but that's impossible. He's worthless, and no one likes him, the real him.

If they knew the real him, they wouldn't be so accepting. They'd have him kicked out of the club. Hell, maybe even out of the school!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! The second chapter will hopefully be out soon, but I might have to get out the fifth work in Burning Blue before that happens. Thank you for your patience!


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